Special thanks to the extremely supportive mamas of Boss Lady, Princess & Captain Awesome, El Fuego, Doc & Rebel, and Sassafras, who have been such cheerleaders and avid readers of the blog- your little characters are stars! Thank you to my pals and kin who have been reading, commenting, taking the time to check out my posts. Very honored to say my folks read it every week!

Big THANK YOU to my Mr. Luke, who is not only a loyal reader but is always encouraging me to grow this blog, and always very supportive of my career. I love you!

Last but certainly not least, Texas-sized THANK YOU to my brother, Bud who has been my blogmaster, editor, web designer, and idea soundboard from the very inception of Y’all Behave. You are such a thoughtful, talented, loving, helpful brother and I’m so thankful for all that you do!

Brother Bud: the brains of this operation:)

I’ll keep the positivity and creativity coming at y’all! Now 80+ posts under my belt buckle, and the blog read in the Lone Star State and beyond(even internationally!)! Again, Thank y’all so much for reading my tips and tales! I’ll do my best to keep ‘em comin’ and keep y’all smilin’!

Y’all Behave Now! Much Lovin’,

Miss Cheryl

Miss Cheryl & El Fuego!

]]> http://yallbehave.com/2013/05/22/one-year-anniversary/feed/ 4 yallbehave23 image Brother Bud: the brains of this operation:) Miss Cheryl & El Fuego! http://yallbehave.com/2013/05/21/the-tao-of-ferdinand/ http://yallbehave.com/2013/05/21/the-tao-of-ferdinand/#comments Tue, 21 May 2013 07:18:41 +0000 MissCheryl http://yallbehave.com/?p=1610 ]]>

Being a Supernanny, it is safe to say that I do a fair amount of reading to the kiddos. Now in my seventh year of career nannying, I have read hundreds upon hundreds of different kiddo literature. Out the many books I have read, I do, in fact, have an absolute favorite: The Story of FERDINAND.
     FERDINAND takes place in the hills of Spain, chronicling the life of a very special bull named, Ferdinand. As a young calf, Ferdinand doesn’t play rough with the other bulls, but instead likes to sit quietly under a cork tree and smell the flowers. Within the beginning of the book, two important lessons are imparted.

 Ferdinand’s mama, who at first worries that Ferdinand may be lonely under his cork tree, accepts her calf for who he is. She sees that he is happy not playing with the other bulls and content sitting by himself, and his happiness is all that matters to her. It’s important for caregivers, one and all, to accept kiddos for who they are. To let them be themselves and love them no matter their choices instills in them a sense of self, and shows them unconditional love.

“His mother saw that he was not lonesome, and because she was an understanding mother, even though she was a cow, she let him just sit there and be happy.”

The second lesson comes from Ferdinand, himself, who even as a small bull knows what he likes, and more importantly, knows himself. As a gal in her late twenties, still changing and growing, and finding out who I am, I’m impressed that this toro pequeño, is so self-aware! We can all take a page from his book (no pun intended) and just be ourselves.

Later in the book, after a misunderstanding caused by a startled bumblebee, Ferdinand accidentally catches the eye of scouts looking for a fierce bull for the fights in Madrid. He’s taken from his home, his mama, his tree, and thrust in the limelight of the bullfights, expected to be fierce and spar with Banderilleros, Picadores, and lastly the Matador. But, true to himself, Ferdinand does not fight, attack, or stomp. He sits peacefully smelling the flowers in the stadium. To me, this is a great lesson to kiddos about pacifism. When people try to change you, or provoke you into arguments and petty fighting, the best action you can take is inaction. Rise above the fray and enjoy your life. Don’t get sucked into the negativity others create.

Our hero’s journey ends with Ferdinand being returned to his hillside home, and the author leaves him sitting under his beloved cork tree, last lines of the book reading,

“And for all I know he is sitting there still,

under his favorite cork tree, smelling the flowers just quietly…

He is very happy.”

FERDINAND’s messages of understanding kiddos, being true to oneself, and resisting negative influences, are all important ones, delivered in this delightfully touching tale by Munro Leaf, with beautiful black and white illustrations by Robert Lawson (in 1938 Ferdinand was made into a Disney short). It is my favorite gift to give kiddos, new moms, new babies, it’s something everyone should read and ponder.

When Mother’s Day rolls around I’m always struggling to find just the right card, just the right gift, just the right way to show my mama how much I love her and how much she means to me. This past year I’ve been noting, compiling, and reliving some of the countless ways she has made my life better, lessons she has taught me, and memories she has given me. I was worried about writing a post with such a specific purpose, my usual MO is writing posts as they occur to me. I was surprised and amazed at how, once I started writing about her, how quickly the words came to me. I only hope she loves reading this as much as I loved writing it.
She taught me how to swim. She always recalls that when I was months old she took me out into our pool, holding my head above water, and her favorite detail that, “and your were so cute and chubby that your whole body floated, I just held your little bald head!” When I played soccer at age 4 I got so beat up during the game that I vowed to not play again til I was 8. Turns out, I had the same to less luck when I played age 8-13, at that age always much smaller than everyone else. After games when I was bruised up, toes broken, sometimes bleeding, I would come home to a drawn bath, fresh pajamas, and my mama would set me up on the couch putting Ziploc bags filled with ice against my legs, bringing me ginger ale, and letting me watch movies the rest of the day. My catering to the kiddos when they are ill is all learned from my mama.

Mama and me poolside:)

My spoonful of sugar technique is a page straight from her book. When we were as little as three, she would have us help her with tasks around the house, be it emptying a trash can, or bringing in our dirty clothes to the laundry room, or my favorite spoonful of sugar moment, when folding large sheets, each of us holding one side, walking toward each other, when we got within nose length we’d giggle and kiss, then she would grab both sheets’ end and I would fold the underside up, kiss and giggle, then fold it again, and again. Each sheet was a game ending in laughter and love. I just loved that!

I get my love of letter-writing, and mail-sending in general from my mama (though sadly I did not inherit her pristine penmanship:/). Since college she has sent me packages containing anything from gum, markers, eyelash curlers, emory boards, a sundress, socks, I never know what to expect! I only know that somewhere in the box there will be articles torn from magazines/newspapers with a “C” written in my mama’s beautiful handwriting; something she read that she knew I would enjoy or learn from. Or her postcards she sends, sometimes from vacations taken decades ago that she stumbles upon but she’ll recall the things she liked best about the place, and what she thinks I would like. Or her sweet letters and cards, always thanking me for any gift no matter how small, or just to say that she loves me and that she is so proud to be my mama. In her letters she calls me Dolly.

One of my favorite episodic memories of my mama is at the cosmetics counter at Dillard’s (or was it the now defunct Foley’s?). Anyhoo, we were walking through the makeup kiosks as salesgirls were trying to get passersby to try sample different scents or try different beauty products. People brushed them off, most often rudely, too busy to stop, but when one earnest salesgirl caught my mama’s eye, my mother obligingly smelled a sample and let the gal giver her spiel. She listened patiently and attentively, even though I knew we were in a hurry, her hands placed delicately on the counter. I remember thinking, “This is what a lady looks like. She’s never too rushed to be kind. She’s gracious to everyone. And she places her hands just so,” as I tried to mimic her naturally lovely mannerisms. She took the sample, and let the salesgirl know that she would think about it for our next mall trip but that we really did need to go. It was such a fleeting moment for her, I’m sure she didn’t give the exchange much, if any, thought, but I’ve always replayed it in my mind when I start to get frustrated with the checkout clerk who is taking forever, or the rattled obvious newbie retail sales associate who is annoyingly eager, I try to take a deep breath and remember that everyone deserves respect and courtesy.

My manners in general come from my mama who instilled in my siblings and I very early on that your manners are something people remember about you long after they’ve forgotten what you wore or the joke you told. People always remember how you made them feel. How would we be remembered? And so we all still write thank you notes, still uphold her standards of manners, and in my nannying I do my darndest to pay it forward to the kiddos.

Beautiful both outside, and in.

My mama is not a woman interested in gossip, nor does she indulge in negativity. She will always find something nice to say about someone, even when the task is difficult. If the person is a total jerk, she’ll say what a nice lawn he/she has, or that they dress well. I very rarely, if ever, hear her dwelling on anyone’s negative attributes. This characteristic is representative of her positivity in general. She always looks for a solution rather than dwelling on the problem. And, even more telling, she only ever likes to watch light-hearted, uplifting, heart-swelling movies. Her go-tos are The Birdcage, Moonstruck, and Sound of Music. She loves listening to Motown and Show Tunes, and, like my daddy, loves to dance!
She has given me a healthy attitude toward aging, mostly because she herself, at every age is so naturally beautiful. She has always had a quiet confidence, an inner beauty that shows, and her beauty advice has always been practical: moisturize, wear comfortable shoes (“The way your shoe fits is reflected on your face. If your shoes pinch your feet, your face will be pinched. If your shoes fit well and are comfy, you’ll have a comfy expression on your face.”), always wear sunscreen…and lipstick. (She always has at least four shades of lip color in her purse at any given time.)

Mama and I worshipping the sun responsibly in our new hats!

My mama is also a fountain of information. Whether I have a question about etiquette, housework, current events, a recipe, historical figures, geography—She. Knows. Everything! I’ve watched her answer every Jeopardy question right on many occasions, her range of knowledge is impressive to say the least. As someone who did not get a “computer phone”(as I call them) until several months ago, I had depended on my mama for most answers. Who needs Google when you have Terri Franck?

Always cooking up a good time!

We call her the “hostess with the mostest”, and I get my love of entertaining and party-planning from her. I can’t remember anyone coming to our house any day of the week and not being offered food, drink, a seat, welcome to stay as long as they like. Our house was always so open to my pals and our family and friends I inherited my love of girls’ nights, holiday parties, and having my home be the meeting place of pals and kin from my mama. Even now when I go home for a weekend my mama has a special menu of my favorite foods planned, specialty drinks just for me, and always a card and gifts laid out on my bed, something that never ceases to surprise and delight me when I arrive. I know when I visit my folks, it’s gonna be an awesome few days filled with good tunes, amazing food, and incomparable company!

My family at my folks’ Greek party:) They often have a get-together themed after their latest travel destination!

Anytime I am sad or stressed I run to my mama first to hear her soothing voice and words of wisdom. When confronted with heartbreak and loss there is no more comforting presence. Whenever I have needed her she has been there, once, years ago, showing up on my Austin doorstep with my beloved Dixie knowing I was heartbroken, and staying with me for an entire week to help me get back on my feet. Seeing her downstairs in the parking lot, my dad opening her car door, filled me with so much relief that I started sobbing because I was so grateful that she was there. There has been nothing that I cannot face with her behind me.  Just knowing that she is a phone call away lowers my blood pressure, and often venting to her about my problems, I stop dwelling and start focusing on the future.

My mama is the reason every time I hear Tchaikovsky’s Waltz of the Flowers, I think of her whispering, “This one always gives me goosebumps,” showing me her arm when we saw The Nutcracker Ballet. She’s the reason I’m a good speller and a stickler for grammar. She’s the reason I still try, though still fail, to stop cursing. She’s the reason I wear blues and greens more than other colors, “They bring out your eyes and your hair.” She’s the reason I grew up thinking more about what I would be than when I would get married. She’s instilled in me a confidence that, like hers, comes from trying my best to be a good person.

Daddy and Mama:)

There is no way to say everything that makes my mama so special, so wonderful, so loving. You really have to be around her to understand how in her, often understated, way she makes you want to be a better person. Her approval is sought after by anyone who knows her from her six siblings, to her pals, to her former students, to her children. I think that is a testament to what an amazing person she is. Her genuine warmth and constant calm are rare and beautiful qualities. She means so much to so many people: sister, pal, wife, grandmother, teacher, daughter, and so very luckily for me, mother. I love you, Mama. Happy Mother’s Day to all good mamas here and never far!

My favorite compliment is: “You look just like your mother!”

• Tissues: From runny noses, to RUNNY NOSES, to small spills, I make it a point to have tissues at the ready. Always employing my Dad’s go-to one-liner when asked by a kiddo for a tissue, “Tissue, I hardly know you!”
• Neutrogena Grapefruit Freshening Wipes: Working 16 hours days at multiple houses, being outside, chasing the kiddos, carrying the kiddos, loading the kiddos in and out of car/house can make a nanny break a sweat-especially in the Austin heat! It’s nice to run a wipe across my face and neck and feel refreshed, renewed, and ready to nanny!
• Portable Sewing Kit: You never know when this might come in handy. A snagged shirt pocket on the way to picture day at school, a split pants seam, or just an impromptu Cat’s Cradle tutorial- can’t go wrong having thread, needle, and scissors on hand.
• Toiletries: Some days I go from house to house, morning becomes afternoon, becomes evening, and I’ll be darned if I don’t have freshly brushed teeth! I occasionally do overnight jobs as well and it’s nice to have  my favorite shower stuff/deodorant etc.
• Kiddo First Aid: Bandaids and Neosporin are must haves when you’re a nanny on the go with kiddos in tow. You never know when an accident may give way to an injury and it’s Supernannily important to be prepared to doctor any wounds.
• Diapers and Wipes: Although I fancy that I could MacGyver a diaper out of Kleenex and bandaids, I’d just as soon have the real deal on hand in case a diaper change is needed.
• iPad: Used primarily for Pandora, I also use my iPad to research questions even I, Supernanny, cannot answer, and to entertain the kiddos further including letting them watch short videos in high-bore environments like waiting rooms.
• Slippers: I like to feel at home in the houses I nanny, just as I’m sure the mamas would rather I not track in all the dirty from my day on my sneakers. So I bring a pair of slip-on slippers to save my socks, and for general glide-ability.
• Wet Ones: This invention has saved my nanny life! There are some messes, with the kiddos usually self-inflicted, a dry towel/tissue just cannot clean. Plus in lieu of a sink it’s a quick way to clean the kiddos’ hands before/after eating, etc.
• Coffee!: My portable French press is awesome when I need coffee(always) but don’t have time in the morning to brew it. I just pop coffee grounds in, then boil water and steep it at my nannying gig! A caffeinated nanny is a happy nanny!
• Tank Top for Miss Cheryl: Being ¼ Peruvian on my mama’s side, I tan very easily and very quickly. Great news for me on vacay, bad news for me in the sun all day getting a wicked T-shirt tan. A quick change and I keep my shoulders sun-kissed, not to mention cool in the often sweltering outdoors.
• Water & Snacks: Though I run a tight ship schedule-wise, the kiddos’ appetites are out of my control, and often quite temperamental. Therefore, I keep hydration options and healthy wrapped snacks on hand to quell thirsts but not make tummies burst!
• Change of Clothes: Like I said, diapers are the least of my worries. Stains too myriad to mention threaten my wardrobe on the daily, so it behooves me to have an alternate ensemble pret-a-porter!
• Sunscreen/SPF Chapstick: Down in Texas, the skies can go from grays to golden rays, before y’all can say, “sunburn!” Keeping the kiddos safe in the sun is a top priority especially in summer(in Austin that means April-October).
• Books/Toys: I let the kiddos bring a couple of small toys or a few books if I know we’ll be running an errand that may call for entertainment, or if I know they’ll be in the car for a stretched spell.
• My Day Planner: Coordinating with families is a task I pride myself on doing well, always making sure the schedule is set, correct, locked and loaded. I’m a very visual person so it helps to look at upcoming weeks with my jobs right there in multicolored pen. I always have it on me in case a mama and I need to triple check a date.
• An Umbrella: This comes in handy as protection from downpours and shade from beating sun. Plus it makes me look sooooo Mary Poppins!

So there you have it, I’ve spilled the contents of my bag! No matter how groggy I am rolling out of bed in the morning, I always pack and grab my nannying bag. It is my lifeline. I couldn’t do without my literal bag of tricks!

For a visual education of all things Miss Cheryl, follow Y’all Behave on Pinterest!

http://pinterest.com/yallbehave/

I recently watched Alice in Wonderland for the millionth time, both the Disney animated version and the 1985 movie (featuring an all-star cast including Ringo Starr, Sammy Davis Jr., Shirley Winters, and Lloyd Bridges). This prompted me to break out the Lewis Carroll tome and delve deep into this most whimsical and wonder-filled tale. It occurred to me while watching both films, and subsequently reading the text, that Alice’s experiences in the strange land of Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass are not so unlike those of a nanny entering the world of kiddos.

• Children are like Cheshire Cats. At times when avoiding blame, evading responsibility, or simply through misunderstanding kiddos have a knack for bearing a striking resemblance to the cat with the disappearing/reappearing body, and the frustrating habit of never giving Alice a straight answer. As a Supernanny I know that sometimes I have to ask children exactly the right question or I may not get a sensible, or not nonsensical answer. I’ve learned to ask, “Did you spill the paint by accident?” is met with a more honest answer than, “Who spilled the paint?”
• Just like in Wonderland, Kiddoland is home to the order of opposites. While in Wonderland up is down, right is wrong, and nothing is as it seems, in Kiddoland when Rebel answers, “No wet diaper,” Doc explains that, “That means it is a wet diaper.” Curioser and curioser! Or as we say in Austin: Weirder and weirder!
• Upon arriving at a tea party, Alice is met with much rudeness by the Mad Hatter and the March Hare, not unlike how charges respond to nannies and supernannies alike at first. It takes time to win them over and imminent separation anxiety is the source of much resentment to even the cheeriest nanny in the beginning. I’ve had my fair share of mornings when I arrive excited to start my day, but am greeted by kiddos perched at the breakfast table eying me suspiciously, knowing that if I’m there, mommy/daddy won’t be for long…
• The Mad Hatter and March Hare’s penchant for taking words literally is another attribute also found in kiddos. When I asked Rebel to, “Say ‘yes’ nicely, Rebel,” he obliged saying, “Yes nicely Rebel.”
• Working with kiddos and trying to understand them is much like solving riddles. While Alice ponders the Mad Hatter’s query of, “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” I must listen closely for clues to answer the kiddos’ conundrums. One day, while unbuckling Doc from his car seat he told me, “My feet feel like sparkling bubbles.” I surmised after a few Cheshire Cat-minded questions that his feet had fallen asleep during the car ride home from the park.
• Alice receives an unlikely (and unwelcome) lesson in manners from the rather rude  twins, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum who seem happy to point Alice’s every misstep, oblivious to their own. I can recall one instance in particular when a five year-old scolded me similarly, “Miss Cheryl, you did NOT say please. You should mind your manners,” to which, not missing a beat, I countered, “With all the due deference I can muster for a boy with his finger shoved in his nose to the knuckle, you’re right, kiddo, ‘will you please use a tissue?’”
• Raging out like the Queen of Hearts is what we in the industry call tantrum-throwing, and just like with the Queen of Hearts, the source of fits can be something as arbitrary as roses the wrong color, or a nanny grabbing the wrong shirt/marker/snack.

Luckily, unlike Alice, a nanny can find her way out of Wonderland anytime she chooses through the reverse rabbit holes of reason and responsibility, and by remembering that even in Kiddoland, supernannies make the rules.

1985 movie version

Here is some darn-tootin’ truth-tellin’ on how to keep your Supernanny! This post is one that I felt very compelled to write having seen so much of the material available all from the client’s point of view. When I was first thinking about writing this blog, several years ago, anytime I googled “nannying,” “appropriate pay for nannies,” “professionalism with nannies,” “how to treat your nanny,”etc. or conducted research about the nanny workplace, most of the information was skewed to a perspective not in the interest of the nannies. One particularly incensing article entitled How to Hire A Nanny Who Won’t Hit on Your Spouse, portrays nannies−not as reliable childcare and an extended family member (which they are)−and more like wanton women hell bent on destroying marriages. Look, it was Jude Law and that was 8 years ago! How long must true Supernannies be subjected to this stereotype? The lack of information available from the Supernanny’s P.O.V. is one of the many reasons I created Y’all Behave. I wanted to sprinkle in real, concrete, important information about how to treat your nanny—both professionally and personally—within all the fun and fancy of nannyhood itself. I think it’s important (and valid) for Supernannies to recognize their worth, and to choose and commit to families who value them as well.

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Don’t “nannyblock” your nanny! Do not refuse to share your nanny’s phone number/contact information with neighbors and friends who inquire about using her (unless your nanny asks you to do otherwise-she may have more work than she can handle!). If you are paying your nanny a competitive wage, and are a pleasant, professional employer, she would have no reason to give your hours to someone else. It is unfair to keep her from finding more hours of work, especially if she is not full-time with you, just because you are worried that she may go off to greener pastures. Be the greener pastures!

Don’t discuss cheaper nannies! Leaving names/numbers/prices of other babysitters written down in plain sight of your nanny or reminding her that there is cheaper childcare out there when she wants to negotiate a raise is a big time nanny-client faux pas. Look, if you want a high schooler who charges less, hire a high schooler who charges less. If you want to put your kids in daycare or after school programs, that is your prerogative. But if you want, and can afford, a career nanny who is a responsible(and professional) provider of transportation, meals, entertainment, and a steady routine (not to mention a source of individual attention, a feeling of security, and true kinship), pony up the extra cash and hire a Supernanny. And if you’re lucky enough to have a Supernanny, don’t try passive-aggressively questioning her worth.

Be understanding of your nanny’s unavailability! Being the people-pleaser that I am, loving the kiddos as I do, and genuinely always wanting to be able to help families (just as I’m sure most other nannies do), I hate when I am unavailable to them for above and beyond hours. I work hard to make sure couples have date nights, and am happy to work evenings whenever I am able. However, it’s not always possible for me to nanny evenings or weekends, as I have commitments myself (and have usually worked a 40+ hour week). Do not greet your nanny’s lack of availability with terse texts or e-mail replies, frustrated sighs, or attempted guilt trips of some sort. Those tactics may have worked at times, but eventually I stopped worrying about it and–if the guilt-tripping continued—taking jobs period, for anyone who made my lack of availability personal. Anyone I nanny now is well aware when they hire me of my availability and they also know that I will inform them of any/all travel plans months ahead of time. In return, they rally and make care-giving ends meet while I’m away, respecting my need to have a life of my own. All are genuinely grateful and respectful of me, and my time. I’m a lucky nanny!

Respect her hours! When you first hire your Supernanny, both of your schedules/hour expectations should be made perfectly clear. Thus far I have enjoyed my time most when it is split into multiple families. The change of pace/surroundings keeps me on my toes, and I feel better about going on my trips with Mr. Luke when I leave several families without a part-time nanny as opposed to one without a full-time one. (Because of this spreading of the nanny love, one of my top criteria is whether or not a family and my schedules match up.) I am always very careful to let families know about my unusual schedule with Mr. Luke and my traveling, and my regular families are given at least four months, usually more, before I miss more than two days of nannying. I give advanced notice anytime I cannot make a day of work. In return, I expect that if my hours will be cut or canceled (due to a change in the family’s schedule, the family leaving on vacation, etc.) that they will give me advanced notice as well.

 Now, if someone is ill, or there is a family emergency, anything of that nature, I am, of course, completely understanding of a cancellation, things happen. But I find cases of consistent/arbitrary cancellations combined with no notice unacceptable. When you cancel on your nanny last minute it is a huge inconvenience for several reasons. Firstly, it is most likely too late for her to find another job, meaning that her weekly/monthly budget, which depended on the hours promised is now going to come up short. Remember, this is her full-time job and sole source of income. Secondly, it is a complete disrespect of her time. Last minute cancellations are extremely frustrating for your Supernanny, not only from a fiscal point of view, but because, due to the last-minute nature (of weekend or evening jobs especially!), it is too late for her to make the sold-out concert with friends, catch a ride to her hometown to spend time with family, make the movies with her partner/pals, or do something she would have planned had she not carved out the time committed to your family. Depending on the hours in question more/less notice is required. (For a weekend evening, you should give your nanny at least a 5 days’ notice as these are nanny primetime, though a week would be more appropriate. For a full day’s hours, she should know one to several weeks prior. Ask your nanny what time frame she feels is appropriate.) Think of it this way: You canceling on your nanny the day/week of is as much of an inconvenience as her cancelling on y’all the night you have pre-paid tickets to see a concert, coordinated with friends, along with dinner reservations before, and no alternative childcare. Put yourself in her place and be respectful. If you absolutely must cancel “just because”, pay her for a minimal evening: 3-4 hours. You may still have inconvenienced her personally, but you will be professionally considerate.

Do not share your nanny’s wages! Bravo for you sharing your awesome Supernanny’s contact information! You are clearly confident in your partnership with her, and yourself as a client. However, divulging what you pay her is a big no-no. What a nanny charges you is dependent on a number of factors: how many children, ages, proximity to her other jobs and home, number of hours, whether or not she uses her car, etc. and what she may charge for one family may be different from another. It is up to her to set her wages. As I’ve gained experience and know-how, I feel that my value is higher, and what I charged four years ago is no longer my going rate. Inversely I have charged families a lesser hourly wage, knowing what they could afford, and taking into account that they had only one child and required lesser hours.

Be on the same page with your nanny! Your nanny is a valuable resource for you when it comes to keeping up with your children’s interest and behavior. Touch  base with her often to discuss any high points, developments, or behavioral snafus. Your Supernanny may recognize a talent or ambition of your child that you have not been privy to, such as an athletic prowess witnessed at the park or a penchant for a certain activity such as music that could prompt you to enroll him/her in a summer music camp. There is no end to the insight your Supernanny can provide, and she’ll do so gladly (after all, her main goal is to keep your children happy and the bonds of your family strong)! When it comes to helping develop good behavior and habits for your child, a Supernanny will work with your disciplinary style and systems of reward. Be open with her on your disciplinary strategies and parameters. She is more than happy to uphold your standards, and it is important that you reciprocate by backing her up when she is implementing discipline as well. The nanny-client relationship is based on mutual respect, yes, but mutual trust is equally important.

Reward your nanny with just desserts! Holiday bonuses and pay raises are customary at most jobs and should not be overlooked with your nanny. In addition, if your nanny uses her car for the majority of her days with your kiddos, along with filling up her tank, get her car washed and detailed quarterly. Car seats and kiddo messes can wreak havoc on a nanny’s ride. (It’s not her crumbs and hand prints in the backseat!) If your children have been going through a tough behavioral time that you know must be extra stressful for your nanny, or she has had them 24/7 for a prolonged period of time while you vacation, find a way to show her that you appreciate her constant care and patience. In the past I’ve received gifts running the gamut from massage certificates to smoothie gift cards to a bag of coffee to red wine. All were much appreciated! Those personal touches made my weeks/months, and it truly means the world to know that in return for my care of their children, the parents want to take care of me.

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Very special thanks to Katie Mayfield Leslie who is an ever-giving source of articles, information, and opinion from her Supernanny point of view! Thank you for everything you send me and for being such a phenomenal Supernanny and pal!

]]> http://yallbehave.com/2013/04/23/how-to-keep-your-supernanny/feed/ 0 yallbehave23 http://yallbehave.com/2013/04/16/how-to-rope-a-supernanny/ http://yallbehave.com/2013/04/16/how-to-rope-a-supernanny/#comments Tue, 16 Apr 2013 13:35:47 +0000 MissCheryl http://yallbehave.com/?p=1516 ]]> One of the questions I am almost always asked when people hear what I do for a living is, “How do you find nannying positions? Do you go through a service or advertise?” The answer to both is no. I have met all of the families I have nannied through referrals, through friends and family, or through happenstance. In fact, I once met a future nannying client at the park when I saved her son from falling off a playscape. I know there are websites dedicated to helping place nannies with families (even nanny/mommy mixers!), and in my experience I would encourage meeting potential nannies through friends and family. The best way to snag a Supernanny is to, of course, be up front about hours you’re looking for, your expectations, and offer a competitive wage(Sad to say that in this article it seems Austin, Texas really skimps on its nannies-for shame, y’all!). Do your due diligence when researching appropriate pay for your nannies. Be sure to take education, years of experience, and cost of living in your specific city into account.
Be up front about your times of need. Let her know which days/hours you need and she can hopefully work you into her schedule. In my experience, with a little flexibility on the part of families and myself, the schedules will work themselves out. If your nanny is being hired on a full-time basis(more than 20 hours per week) make sure that you can guarantee those hours for at least the next 3-6 months, and should your hours/days of need change, let your nanny know as soon as possible so she can start figuring out her schedule. (As a Supernanny she should keep you abreast of any changes in her schedule as well.)
Be up front about your expectations. If you are hiring a nanny, that is her job. She is hired to take care of your children. She is not a housekeeper, she is not a tutor, she is not a personal assistant, she is not your chauffeur, and she is not a therapist. If you want your nanny to take on other duties, and she is willing, then this needs to be reflected in her wages. Aka if she is performing housekeeping, personal assistant duties on top of her childcare ones, such as grocery shopping or errand running for you with the kiddos in tow, she should be paid additionally and adequately. Because of a Supernanny’s love for the children and families, and her eagerness to help, she could be(and nannies often are) talked into responsibilities way above both her pay grade and what is appropriate. (I once had to draw the line when asked if I would “do the dog yard” responding, “I’m sorry, I went to college. No.”) You trust your nanny with your most precious people, in return do not betray her trust by taking advantage of her generosity.
Be excited! You’re getting a Supernanny! The pressure of juggling kiddos, work, keeping up your home, spending extra special time with each of your children, errands, some “you time”, some alone time with your partner, or your studies, is now alleviated, the yoke of childcare now shared by you and your Supernanny. Your kiddos will be in great hands with a person who really loves her job, and by extension your kiddos and you. You should be able to do it all, and with your Supernanny, you can, providing amazing childcare and fun for your kiddos along the way!

Because of this past with math, when approached by parents to explain or respond to certain kiddo behaviors, I answer from a statistical standpoint. For example, some kiddos love bathtime, other kiddos detest it. I’ve found after years of experience with tens of kiddos that it is about a 50/50 toss-up with bath, diaper changes, and car rides.

El Fuego went through a phase when he HATED diaper changes…

For every child who cries when water goes over his/her head, there is an equal number who love bathtime, basking in the bubbles. There are just as many kiddos who babble and chatter while having their bottoms powdered as there are those who squirm and scream when it’s time for a diaper change. And while 50% of kiddos loathe car rides, long or short, and loading them in and out is tantamount to a torture chamber, there’s the other half who love to look out the window, and whose folks’ most foolproof tactic for inducing slumber is a nice soothing drive around the block.

I encourage parents not to stress over which percent their child falls in, reminding them that with increase in age comes changes of heart and what may enrage them now, may just win them over next month. And while I’ve seldom found a child who dislikes baths, changes, and car rides, I pity the parents who fall into that unlucky percentage. After all, kiddo behaviors are a crap shoot…no pun intended.

But is a fan of bathtime:)

Kiddos’ bodies are still a mystery to them, capable of many surprises. The discovery and intrigue of their corporal containers leads the kiddos to many a revelation. I encourage them to view their bodies as vessels of endless ability!

Just the other day while sitting at the table with Doc and Rebel I was showing them how I could wink. They both gave it a shot. Both blinked but the seed has been planted. Then I whistled for them, and tried teaching them both, though it ended up becoming more of a spitting contest. I can raise my left eyebrow by itself so I showed them that little trick then they both tried raising their eyebrows, together then one at a time. Doc was thisclose to raising his right eyebrow; so far Rebel can only raise his eyebrows when genuinely surprised or interested. They were thus far enjoying these tactile tests and so I continued asking them to try to pat their heads and rub their tummies at the same time. This is a classic crowd pleaser, as they don’t understand why they can’t do different actions with different hands. Until a certain age this seems to elude most kiddos. I remember back to when I was first able to master the pat your head, rub your tummy challenge. It was as if I’d been given the keys to my own kingdom! Coordination at last!

As I fancy myself more physically aware and in charge of myself than my charges, I often use my skills to entertain the kiddos; for instance, flipping my long hair upside down, then swaying my head from side to side like flaps at a carwash over the kiddos’ heads, tickling their cheeks and noses. And speaking of noses…I can play mine. Yes, you heard right. I am a grown woman, who plays her nose for kiddos. I’m loud and proud! I put my left index finger, closing my left nostril, then let the right one flare as I hum a tune (The theme from old school cartoon BLUE HAWAII is my go-to), and tap the right one in time to the music. (The kiddos never seem to catch on that I’m humming and think the tune is coming out of my nose as if it were a music box.) It gets the kiddos laughing every time, and they are all dying to try it. Now I must warn moms, dads, and nannies alike, I DO NOT recommend teaching this gem during cold/flu season, unless you like your clothing with a side of snot. I learned that the hard way my first year of nannying. See? I do the dirty(and I mean DIRTY) work, so you don’t have to! Just one of the things I can do!

     Case in point, a recent trip to the park with Doc and Rebel, when Doc wanted to go up the slide, rather than taking the steps up. As he started his climb, I warned him not to do it. He paused, “Why not?” Welp, there’s a story there, and a warning to remember.

When I was in fifth grade, I was playing on the playground after school, waiting for my mama to finish up her day—she taught at my school—with my BBF(Best Bud Forever) Jackie and a few other pals. It had rained that day and the playground, and all its equipment was wet. Looking up at the wide metal slide, covered in rain droplets I was deciding whether or not to climb up it—the ladder was all the way on the other side of the jungle gym after all and I was a busy woman—when one of my pals dared someone to climb up the slide, throwing a bag of Goldfish crackers in to the wager. Now as a gal who had scarfed down her snack what seemed like hours ago, I was game. I got a small running start then began my ascent up the wide expanse of metal and water. I got two steps before my sneakers slid on the water, my legs shot behind me, and—as my arms were at my sides—I hit the hard surface face first. My mouth felt as if it had exploded. I had just been gifted with braces and I felt them stabbing into my teeth and gums. I stood up, blood gushing out of my face, drenching my shirt, and flowing without stopping. As the other kids bolted, avoiding trouble (and any leftover teachers), Jackie helped me back to my mama’s classroom. Upon not finding her there we wandered the halls for what seemed like forever until she turned a corner, ran up, cupped her hand under my chin, thanked Jackie, and carried me to the car. We rushed to my orthodontist’s office—as bad luck would have it, the doctor was at the other clinic, and there were only a few newbie techs to attend to a rather advanced teeth emergency! All were lovely, young, and dressed in varying pastel scrubs that usually cheered me. They did their best to make me feel comfortable, one with a blonde ponytail almost fainted at the sight of all the blood. Having not seen myself since the accident I saw the damage reflected on her pretty but shocked face and could feel a nervous breakdown coming on. Were my teeth gone? Was I disfigured? Would I ever have a burger again? Visions of life through a straw, or disguised under an iron mask spun through my mind. In the end, the braces—which had been embedded in my gums upon impact—were pried off, and my gums were given time to recover before a new set could be put on. (Had I not had the braces, my teeth would have been smashed out. Thanks mama and daddy, and again, sorry!) I show signs of the “slide incident” today, as my gums are not quite as full over my front teeth as God had originally intended.

     While wrapping up this story I always smile, and show the kiddos the little bit of missing gum from my teeth—proof of my story and of my infallibility when it comes to warnings. They always gasp, usually putting a hand to their mouths or running their tongues over their teeth while looking at the previously harmless-seeming slide. Then they usually lend some words of sympathy for my injury, agree it’s not a good idea, and opt for the stairs. Injury averted, and all it took was a little time, and a heckuva warning!