Singer of Songs

The hill country is alive with the sound of music! Or at least it is when I’m around. I have a fondness for reworking lyrics to existing songs, or inventing new ones on the fly for entertainment and education. Here are some of my favorites.

Snuggles, like many babies, inexplicably stopped being cool with having his diaper changed. As someone who can’t imagine ever being cool with having another person change me, I wanted to find a way to make our diaper-changing sessions less of a dreaded duty, and more fun. This led me to rework the lyrics to the oh-so-catchy Single Ladies, by Beyoncé:

“Little Snuggles Baby (Little Snuggles Baby), Little Snuggles Baby (Little Snuggles Baby), Little Snuggles Baby (Little Snuggles Baby), Little Snuggles Baby, Now put ya legs up!
Wipe, wipe, wipe,
Wipe, wipe, wipe,
Wipe, wipe, wipe,
Wipe, wipe, wipe,
Pee!/Poop!
Wipe, wipe, wipe,
Wipe, wipe, wipe,
Wipe, wipe, wipe
Wipe, wipe, wipe,
If it’s poopy then we gotta use a wipe on it,
If it’s poopy then we gotta use a wipe on it,
Don’t be sad when ya see I’m changin’ it,
If it’s poopy then we gotta use a wipe on it…”

Also for Snuggles I came up with a song I made up when he started sitting up in his Bumbo chair:

“Who’s the little bimbo in the bumb-o chair?
Snuggles is the bimbo in the bumb-o chair!”

When Mr. Man and Big Cat revealed that they were big fans of cheese sticks, I redid the words to Far East Movement’s classic, Like a G6:

“I like my cheese sticks, like my cheese sticks,
I be feelin’ so fried like my cheese sticks.
Like my cheese sticks, Like my cheese sticks,
Don’t give me no fries, I want cheese sticks.
You see the waiter with the plate,
Yell and put yo hands up, yell and put yo hands up,
Put yo, put yo hands up!”

When those two were telling me they love sandwiches but no mayonnaise, this new version of Taio Cruz’s Dynamite was born:

“I hold my hands up to the sandwich guy,
Sayin’ ‘Hey-o, I said no May-o!'”
Of course I amended this to include manners…
“Sayin’ ‘Hey-o, Please no May-o!'”

When I had Mr. Man and Big Cat over a weekend that included a Saturday morning soccer game, I wanted to play them a song in the car to get them pumped for their game. I landed on an old favorite of mine from my soccer days, Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne, but with a twist:

“We’re going off the road, in Miss Cheryl’s car!”

For days when I picked up Big Cat from school before Mr. Man, I penned a redo of the late, great Donna Summer’s Hot Stuff:

“Sittin’ here, waitin’ my heart out, waitin’, waitin’ for you to get out of school,
Saw about a thousand four year olds, but none of them are just quite as cool,
Lookin’ for some Big Cat, baby this p.m.,
I need some Big Cat this afternoon,
I need some Big Cat, baby this p.m.
Gotta get some Big Cat, gots to have some fun and soo-oo-oon!”

Rebel, as I’ve mentioned before, has not always been the best at remembering to stay on the sidewalk during our numerous walks. Besides employing the goat maw, I also revamped Aerosmith’s Back in the Saddle:

“Get baaaaaaaaack!
Get back on the sidewalk agaaaa-in!”

For some reason, Rebel at times tries to fib to me about what kind of diaper change he needs. On one particular day he faked me out, I was thinking he had a number 2-all signs(and smells)- pointed that way, but alas ’twas only pee, and so I whipped up this little number to tune of The Black Eyed Peas’ Boom Boom Pow:

“Rebel’s go that Boom Boom Poop,/ It’s Not Poop, Just a Bad Toot./ I got that Super Sonic Wipe,/ I’m gonna clean up ya diap!”

I’ve recently begun caring for my darling Godson(now 6 weeks old- code name El Fuego), and even before my first official day as his nanny/fairy godmother, I carefully constructed this lyrical remix of the old favorite, Daisy Bell(On a Bicycle Built for Two):

“Fuego, Fuego/ Give us a kiss or 2.
You’re so awesome/ We never know what you’ll do.
You hardly e-ver cry/ And when you do, we know wh-y,
You need to feed, that’s all you need/ So we’ll get you a boob or 2!”

Calmed him right down, and cracked his mama right up!

The kiddos love being the muses of my musical creations, and nothing brings a smile to a face faster than a custom song.