“That’s a little more information than I needed, Vince, but go ahead.” –Mia Wallace, Pulp Fiction

In the world of nannying, there is no such thing as TMI(Too Much Information). If I were to tell you every full disclosure, no holds barred, borderline inappropriate, and flat out inappropriate comment I have been told, question I’ve been asked, or secret I’ve accidently been privy to, it would take a lot longer than a blog entry. So instead I’ve compiled some of the shiniest gems in my treasure trove. (The quotes have remained anonymous, as we should all have the blessing of obscurity when it comes to such revelations.)

“Miss Cheryl, I had to pee so bad my penis was like a fire hose!”
“My bottom itches!”
“I tooted…bad.”
“Miss Cheryl, now that I’m 4 guess what I have to stop doing?…Playing with my penis.”
“My boogers taste like apple.”
“I chewed a bug.”
“Kings of Penises! Kings of Penises!”
“Miss Cheryl, come look! My poop looks like a boa constrictor!”

At the times these phrases have been uttered, I’m usually in a state of half shock/ half amusement, usually responding with an, “Oh, goodness!” I try to continue on with the day, not giving too much attention to the TMI phrases, lest the children recognize a surefire attention-getter and start intentionally TMIing it up even more than usual.

I have often felt the because, having the distinct disadvantage of being an adult (at least on the outside) and therefore unable to engage in the free-wheeling spirit of exposing all of my dirty little details to the children, that the gross-out playing field has been unfairly unbalanced. So imagine my surprise and delight when I discovered that I do, in fact possess a certain habit which Mr. Man and Big Cat, at least, find repulsive. You ready? It’s my habit of PDA with my fiancé, Luke! It gives the boys the willys! Even if they don’t witness it firsthand, as there is rarely an opportunity, they can’t even stand if I say that I can’t wait to kiss him, or hug him. They are soooooo appalled that I would sully our conversations with my shameful habit of romantic love. And so after many years of being tackled with TMI tidbits, the playing field is at last leveled!

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