“Reframing” the RainPosted: April 6, 2020
A shiny pearl of wisdom directly from The Danish Way of Parenting, “reframing” is the order of the day. Whether you’re housebound by illness, shelter-in-place, or weather itself, changing the way we think and speak about our present situation can create a new, more pleasant one. Reframing, defined by Jessica Joelle Alexander & Iben Dissing Sandahl as, “using language to create a perception shift,” is the practice, and eventual skill of shining positivity on seemingly negative spaces. Philosophical, surely, but practical too. Y’all don’t have to be Pollyanna to engage meaningfully in reframing! Simple tweaks to your approach to situations, and especially how you explain them to kiddos is what reframing is all about. In my nannying days, this was incredibly relevant, and I found that reframing came naturally to me, because I always wanted to set an optimistic atmosphere for my charges. Now, as a mama I want it to be a quality I pass on to my child.
As with most things behavioral, we have to lead by example. One of my toddler’s tasks in the morning is to “help” me make my coffee, as in mostly just providing verbal cues since toddlers are notoriously untrustworthy around appliances.
My babe and my morning ritual:
B: “First put the wa-wa…now the black filter, now the white filter, 1-2-3-4 scoops,” followed by the smelling of the coffee, then when all is ready, time for chubby fingers to press “Brew.” Then we “WAIT!” until the coffee “pops and percolates.”
Who knew this ritual would be so handy when reframing rain and thunder! As we sat having lunch, and the rain poured outside, a big clap of thunder shook our house, and I suspected, my little one. In reframing mode I said, “See? Just like when we make coffee. First comes the wa-wa, the rain, then the machine…” “Percolates!” answered my babe, eyes lighting up. Now, whenever it rains, we say to “Wait…” and then clap for the thunder.
If your kiddos enjoy music as much as mine does, I also create playlists for specific triggers of negativity, from rainy weather to doctor’s offices. I included a couple of playlists here to give y’all some ideas! The right song can help reframe attitudes and energy, singing is the ultimate mood-lifter. If your child is an avid reader, books themed to reframe scary or negative events are great too. Let your child’s interests help guide your reframing organically. Y’all’ll be surprised at how quickly you begin to reframe as a reflex!
Rockin’ with the Rhythm of the Rain, The Judds
Rain, The Beatles
Riders on the Storm, The Doors
Rain, The Cult
The Rain, the Park and Other Things, The Cowsills
Bus Stop, The Hollies
Have You Ever Seen the Rain, Creedence Clearwater Revival
Come Rain or Come Shine, Ray Charles
Blonde on Blonde, Nada Surf
Electrical Storm, U2
Rhythm of the Rain, The Cascades
15 Step, Radiohead
Rain, The Beat Bugs
Doctor Robert, The Beatles
Calling Dr. Love, KISS
Bad Medicine, Bon Jovi
Spoonful of Sugar, Julie Andrews
Bad Case of Loving You, Robert Palmer
Witch Doctor, David Seville
Shots, LMFAO (Just Kidding!)